That's a bull shit lie!
I work, pay bills, wait for a paycheck, go on dates, deal with drama, know Debbie Downers.
A fellow friend abroad just wrote about all the things that suck about being gone. Her blog inspired me to finish what I'd started about this topic.
It only took about one month in China for friends to slowly stop checking in. Sure they read my blogs, like my pictures and follow me on social media. But "nobody hangs hard times on the wall."
I still wait for a paycheck at the end of each month. When rent is due (pay three months at a time), I eat noodles and rice most days. Noodles and rice that I cook.
The foreigner circle abroad is small, so there is always a taste of drama. It may not directly effect me, but most likely one of my friends or colleagues.
Food cravings are easy to overcome. Although it's not like Granny's or your favorite hole-in-the-wall place, or even Sonic, Western food can be found and some places are actually really decent.
Late night Taco Bell drunk food becomes street food, which is just meat on a stick. Granny's cooking becomes dinner with friends. And for me, the hole-in-the-wall joint became PacMan (A Chinese chain actually named Shiquain Delicacies).
I don't use the term "blessed" often, but I have truly been unbelievably blessed with an amazing selection of friends here. We are all struggling, whether it's the same or not. And we all know what it's like to miss home, even those of us who know we're better off gone.
My friends can tell when I'm homesick most days. I turn from obnoxious American to reserved with my headphones reading or writing.
Friends abroad are always willing to have a drink, grab dinner, see a music show or take a little adventures because we all know we need to keep busy to keep from going insane. Regardless of exhaustion after a long work week, they're there.
What weekend?
Because I teach at a learning center in the evenings, this means my students are at school during the weekdays. Therefore, they come to EF on Saturday and Sunday. My day starts at 6:00 a.m. and ends at 6:30 ish. But I don't get home until 8:00. I We teach ten-hour days.
My weekend is Wednesday and Thursday so hanging with friends often means sacrificing sleep, but they do the same for me on a Wednesday night.
When you have a bad day you have your friends here and although it isn't the same as a friend back home who knows it all, it works. The hard part is when your hometown friends are struggling and all you can say is hang in there, give it time or tell them to tell whoever it is to go to hell. You want to give them a shoulder, rather than just words through a text, Skype or FaceTime. The fact that they're 13 hours behind never helps either.
You don't speak fluent Chinese, German, Spanish, or whatever language is native to where you're living. The daily routines are easy: buying from the markets, ordering at a restaurant, giving taxi directions and topping your cellphone minutes. But the more necessary basic stuff is a struggle: transferring money, paying bills and getting to meetings in different locations.
Life abroad is actually much harder than life in your hometown, a few states in any direction, or your native country period.
There are hundreds of laws in my own country I'm unaware of, so imagine a new one full of different guidelines. Let's also keep in mind I live in a communist country that only opened to foreigners 20-plus years ago. For foreigners it's not too terrible, but for the Chinese it's pretty tough in some areas.
Sure my life is an adventure because I live abroad. And because I live in a foreign country I vacation in foreign places within that country. If I lived in America I'd vacation in Florida or Kentucky. I don't know. But I don't live in America. Life isn't a permanent vacation. My life isn't vacation at all. I work 40 hours a week, usually more. My life is an adventure, yes. But not always a leisurely one.
I chose this life because mundane becomes mundane more quickly to me than some. Because I don't want a job so boring I get Charlie horses sitting at a desk all day. Because I want to see the world. Because I want to open my mind, body and soul to the rest of the world in ways many are too afraid of (or too negative and closed minded to).
Am I happy? Unbelievably!
When I went to Europe everyone thought I was crazy. When I moved to New York everyone though I was brave. When I came home from China recently everyone asked how long I'd stay and where I was going next. I'm happy to be that person others can envy, admire or whatever other word you choose. Just know as much as I enjoy being gone, I enjoy being home.
People commend my courage for living abroad and I do it because someone had to. I do it so my friends can have a person to go to with the most bizarre idea or thought in existence and be able to tell them, "so do it!"
My parents recently moved to the lake and anytime something happens that seems rough they've made their motto, "it's ok because we live on the lake." So, that's how I live here. When I have the worst possible day full of chaos and confusion, I can just say, "it's ok because I live in China."
This life is about far more than saying. It's about doing! I live an ocean, several countries, a 13-hour flight and half a day in time away from the people I love most. Although I've been able to find substitutes, I've never found replacements. Because home, no matter how good, bad, near or far from it we are, it lives within us.
No comments:
Post a Comment