As I pack up the last of my favorite things into two suitcases for the next year, I spend my final moments at home finding comfort in leaving everything behind for 365 days. This comfort is found in the past two months I've spent saying goodbye to my family and friends.
Everyone keeps saying to me how brave and free spirited I am. They confess that they could never leave their mamas that long or move so far from home. Well, your family may be the reason you stay, but mine is the reason I leave. I push myself to explore and travel because since last July that has been when my heart is happiest and my spirit at its highest. Although I love my hometown, more now than I did six months ago when I left for New York, I still have places to go and people to meet. I venture from this place in hopes of finding the best version of myself because that is who my friends and family deserve.
Your family and truest friends will love you no matter where your life choices take you. Believe me, I know this 100%. However, we should live our lives so that they are proud and loving us is easy.
Most of you my age are in the boat of figuring out what it is we wish to do for the next 30 years, and that boat feels like it's sinking a bit more every day that we spend undecided. Well, I've upgraded to the Titanic which has allotted me at least another decade to "get it together." There is too much to do in life to feel grounded to a 9-5 at age 24. I was poor for the last five years in college, so what's a few more years of pb&js if it means I'll discover an endless array of opportunities. :)
I've had a few months to think about the past year of my life and where it has brought me so far. I then perused the ideas of where the next year in China will take me. When I get scared I find comfort in the fact that it is just one year, and in the grand scheme of things, that's no time at all.
A year from now I hope to fluently speak Mandarin, pick up Kung Fu as self defense, hit a few countries in Asia, find happiness in teaching children then return to New York and pick back up on publishing and writing dreams. But, if that's not what happens then so be it.
My blogs typically have a purpose or meaning because it isn't often I blog just to type. I wanted to write something to my friends and family to thank them for their love and support. Sooo here goes...
I used to regret some of the friendships I've lost throughout the past 24 years. I've wondered "what if" and wondered who those people are today. Some of the friendships ended as a result of some typical girly cat fight, others from time and distance, lack of common interests, etc. However, I now know why all of those friendships are no more. The core of my existence are the people who have remained in my life up to today.
"You never know what you've got until it's gone."
Well, I never knew how many truly wonderful friends I had until I decided to leave them for a year.
My dad always jokes with me and tells me, "everyone is your best friend." Well, they really are. If you are a friend of mine, you are most likely a best friend. With my schedule, I don't have much time for "lets grab a coffee" friends. I reserve my spare time for the shoulders I can cry on and for those who rely on my shoulders, too.
Every friend in my life has an individual purpose. Each one of you brings something different to my life that keeps me going. And when we can gather together, well, that's just a bonus. :)
To my favorites: here is what I can say in the shortest, least embarrassing amount of words.
Mom - For your beauty, strength and encouragement: inside and out.
Dad - For always letting me be your little girl.
Bubba - For being your truest self and the lack of fear you have about it.
G - For being the most important woman in my life.
Meg - For always asking, then always listening.
Gigi - For coming back and keeping G company
To the rest of my family: For the love and claiming me as one of your own :)
Natalie - For being there. Literally and always.
Kayli - For becoming a mother. It only made you a better friend.
KB- For being the first to show me about being a free spirit.
Britney & Bob - For loving me as much as you love each other.
Wesley - For everything.
Jeff & Brandi - For the pride you have in me.
Bri - For always reminding me to not fear the unknown.
Justin - For your belief in my humanity. :)
Liz - For all of your wisdom
Lauren - For "if anyone is going to do it, it'd be Amie."
For all of you and the unmentioned: For believing, encouraging and keeping me around with my unpredictable language and actions.
We truly do meet every one for a reason. It's just that some are meant to stay forever and some are meant to just pass through until they find the people that best fit them. Throughout the next year, as I conquer Beijing's heart, you will all be in my heart and mind.
