Blog, interrupted: bang, bang

I was going to come home to America sooner, but then I decided I'd rather not risk getting shot. Too soon? Tough!
Maybe it's the Apocalypse, but honestly it's almost humorous at this point.
I live in China, so fortunately, I miss a lot of the overly-spread and publicized media from America. Unfortunately, even China can't censor crazy.
When someone in the office (typically not American) says, "What's going on in America today/lately/this week?"
My response is usually something along the lines of, "Which state had a shooting?" Or, "Who got shot today?" Sounds a bit heartless doesn't it? Maybe it is. The attention is what they want though, isn't it? The media, the so-called journalists, the peace keepers, the prayers, and everyone. Well, here I am caving to give it the attention it deserves. I'll say what most of you think and I'll take my chances of criticism against the rest. 

Here are some pet peeves of mine when it comes to shootings, shooters, guns and the rest of it. 
First, for the love of all things holy, if you're going to off yourself after shooting an innocent human, do the world a favor and just turn your lights off before wreaking havoc. Thanks. We all got issues. Deal with them. 
Secondly, if you think you're shooting for a cause and getting justice or whatever your reason is, don't off your self like a spineless coward. Don't post a video of your "redemption" on the world wide web, then kill yourself before taking credit. You're even more of a piece of shit for killing yourself than you are for not facing the consequences. Grow a pair. 
Thirdly, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Fantastic idea, but knives, bombs and even words kill people, too. Sadly, I don't even think the surmountable rising of random shootings and/or slaughters will effect the demolishing of the Second Amendment. And honestly, as it states, "the right to keep and bare arms as necessary to maintain a state militia," you might want to hang onto it, because it seems before long we're all going to need a few guns and extra ammunition to make a trip to the grocery store. Let's be honest.

Growing up, the fear of a school shooting was put into my mind from Columbine. It was temporary, though. Also, I was only nine years old. The idea that something like that could really happen is like the idea that Santa Claus wasn't really real at that age. It just wasn't logical. And then there was Sandy Hook...

Over the next decade school shootings were sporadic. But today, it seems a shooting is on the front page daily. Or the cover story for FOX and CNN news reel, or the punch line of a Family Guy episode. But we needn't worry about one specific shooting clouding our news feeds because it's always immediately put on the back burner when a new one occurs. That's probably the only positive in so many shootings, right? There will be another one to top the last, or take our minds off the one that hit closest to home. But the victims, the families, the classmates, the bystanders, for them, those headlines are flashing in their minds constantly. Trust me, I've seen a freshly dead body. Doesn't fade.

Here is an example of how the media, although the majority of "bad news" is blocked in China, still spreads like a plague. I was writing about the misconceptions of Chinese stereotypes and I wanted to discuss the issue of communism. I've copied the following directly from my unpublished blog. 

"The communism thing... I've discussed this with many of my foreign friends here and we all agree that we feel 100% safe here at all times. We walk down dark hutongs (small, alley-like streets) at night with headphones in and not a care in the world. We'll run to the market and leave our doors unlocked. We'll take a cab alone. I've lived on my own, or with roommates since I was 20, and I've never felt as at ease as I do in my apartment in China. 
Last week, there was a stabbing in a popular foreign hangout here in Beijing called Sanlitun. The foreigners were almost in a panic. But only for a day or so. See, China controls their media and the spreading of news. Although the photos were posted and the story told, that's all it was. It was tragic for certain, and we'll be a bit more cautious in coming weeks, but at the end of the day, we're still safer here than the streets of Johannesburg, London or New York. 
I've lived in China for 15 months and this was the first serious event to really hit the circuit. I don't feel any less safe, just sad for the girl who died and her fiancé who held her as she passed. 
In a country of billions, Communism works. It has its negatives most certainly, but the control puts an unspoken fear in the residents. The fear results in behavior. There are rebellious people as in any place, and I think some of the laws and regulations are excessive, but at the end of the day, people sleep peacefully. 
All that being said, the Communism most Americans think of, Mao Zedong and WWII, doesn't exist. I'm not saying it's amazing, but I'm saying it works in its own way."

Now, all that came to mind because about three weeks ago there was an explosion in the bordering city, Tianjian. In Beijing, we have many friends from the area, etc. We were concerned, but that was it. It happened and there was a death count. Was it accurate? Probably not. But it wasn't dwelled on for weeks. A week later, a friend from home messaged me about the explosion. It was still on American news. Why? This is why a large majority of Americans think the world is so terrible. We harp and harp and harp on the same shit for weeks until the next bleed comes. And we roost on foreign situations that don't even pertain to us. Mind your beeswax. Come on...

At the end of the day, I don't live in a free country. And at the end of the day I feel safer because of that. Does that say something about freedom? Maybe. Or maybe it just says something about the amount of freedom we as Americans have. The amount of wiggle room we have to do as we please, the same way the Court has wiggle room to justify its reasons. I'm not advocating Communism, so you can all relax. I am however, advocating we worry about the madness within our own borders before we save the rest of the world. Cause I can promise you this, as a power house, the rest of the world isn't coming to save our asses when we go up in flames because we couldn't implement a little more fear or discipline into our citizens. 

Freedom don't come free. That's about as true as it gets.  The history of the American world is based on violence and murder to get where we are and that, my friends, is disgusting. We use violence because the country was founded on it. 

So yeah I don't have the guts to grab a gun and shoot up someone to make a point, but I've got the guts to write a few words telling those people to go fuck themselves. Look at history. No one knows Eric Harris or Dylan Klebold's names. I only do because I read Dave Cullen's, "Columbine." And how long will they remember James Holmes or Adam Lanza. (Don't worry I googled their names too, because they're not worth storage space in my brain.) The point is, these people aren't heroes, but they're known, even if briefly, because of the tragedies they caused. 

America is a lot of things and that's great, but congratulations, we're No. 1 in mass shootings. There are countries at war, there's ISIS and the Taliban, but we're No. 1 in mass shootings. Is that making you sick yet? It should. I pulled this shot from the web. Look at all these dots that don't even have names. The dots are so occurring there is no room for more. 

When I graduated college with a journalism degree I swore I'd never work for a newspaper, TV news or any other company of the sorts. I am a writer, not a journalist!  Becoming a journalist is often like selling your soul. Often morals and opinions need to be set aside and the story found or told. I have classmates, friends and mentors who are journalist, and this isn't to poke at them. It's their job and that's fair. And it damn sure isn't a jab at the journalist and photographer killed on the job yesterday in Virginia as they were the final draw in no longer biting my tongue.

I will never write something because it bleeds. I will write what I want, when I want, because that's what freedom should be used for. In the long run, it begins and ends with the media, so until we stop using social media as a weapon, nothing is going to change. And that is freedom in 2015. 

When The Teacher Becomes The Pupil

Alone, they are simply reasons, but together, they are success. I began teaching English as a second language in China in July 2014. I have just signed my second contract. Here are six, simple reasons why.

1. Knowledge

I learn something new everyday. Be it a new grammar point, how to pronounce a city I never knew existed, or learning something about an individual student. The learning process for a teacher never stops inside or outside the classroom when you teach abroad. You constantly learn new customs, history, reasons for this or that and how to adapt to it all.

2. Reward

When that light clicks in a student or they find excitement in an activity you planned for hours, it warms your heart. It also lets you know you’re not wasting their time or yours. How is this different from teaching in your home country? The language barrier, that’s what. Each class you enter the room hoping to succeed through each activity, instruction or assignment with graded English accompanied by a lot hand gestures and body language.

3. Patience

The patience I have obtained as a teacher is remarkable. Teaching abroad, it also becomes beneficial outside of the classroom as well. When you make progress through the language barrier you feel like an Olympic gold medalist. You must constantly remind yourself, although the student may be 15, they speak English secondly to their native language. When a child speaks to you in their native tongue, listen with your eyes and speak in return with your hands.

4. Maintaining My Inner child

I can sing and enjoy a ridiculous song like, "I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas," for the first time since watching Barney in kindergarten. (Ok, so I often sing it but this time it was structured). I can elicit ridiculous art work in the form of stick figures as entertainment. I get to color or make a craft at least every other day. I get paid to be a fool. Win-win!

5. Communication

This one is big for me. Some assume communicating with kids is easy because they're too young to know different. The truth is, no one can crush your confidence quicker than a kid. I think I'm hilarious sometimes but when my students don't get a joke I'm like, "well, ok then."

Like the patience I obtain and apply outside of the classroom, I can do the same with the communication skills acquired. If you can talk to a child and be understood or heard, you can do it with an adult. Adults are less patient, but if you are the child in the situation, you’ll succeed.

6. The love

Yelling one minute and being fed snacks the next by the small ones. By the older students, once you let them in, they learn to respect your need for peace in the classroom. You may not always teach them the target language for a lesson, but in the long run, you teach them patience, sharing, kindness, confidence and love. And in the end, they show you all the same things.

These six reasons for teaching work together because without patience, you have little or no communication, and without communication your reward is less satisfying. Without the reward, the love is simply teacher to student instead of mentor to child. And without all of the above, you never gain the knowledge.

Part II

The following are a spin-off of the 30 life lessons learned by age 25 blog. These are the 10 lessons I learn in the classroom. These are the daily things in a teacher's life and the feelings that happen in return.
I was just looking at these kids precious faces today and I realized I'm sparked a little each day by these rugrats. I teach as young as three and as old as 15 so there aren't many dull moments.
I've written about the classroom and told you a thousand stories, but I've forgotten to mention the little things, which is the best part.

1. When a kid laughs - you laugh too because their laughs are contagious.

2. When they share - this means they like you, even if it was a weird Chinese snack you had to spit out when they turned their back.

3. When they give you something (a bracelet, sketch, etc) - this means they like you and think about you as more than just the English teacher they see once a week.

4. When they ask you an educational question - this makes me feel smart and gives me confidence and pride. This means they've actually learned something from me and assume I know other things.

5. When they ask you a life question - they look up to you. This actually makes me nervous cause I'm always afraid my honesty will come back to bite me because of typical, Chinese conservative minds, but I'll never lie to my students. Even if it costs me my job.

6. When they obey - I do a happy dance on the inside and remain cool on the outside. This means they respect me, or I put the fear of God in the. :) 

7. When the lightbulb goes off - happy dance again. I really do know what I'm doing. (Ok, well, maybe sometimes).

8. When they make you angry - you remember they're just kids so you're sucking up to them by the end of class cause you feel guilty after yelling. 

9. When they laugh at you - it means they're paying attention, they get your joke or they think you are the absolute strangest adult on earth.

10. When they laugh with you - you feel awesome!

Three.

The three hardest, three-word sentences you'll ever have to say... when they're sincere. 

"I am sorry."
We say it every day when we run into someone while walking. We say it when interrupting a conversation. We say it in place of, "excuse me." 
That's when it's habitual. When it's hard is when you mean it.
This is admitting you're wrong. This damage is done physically, verbally and emotionally. Maybe it was severe in your eyes, but a misjudgment in theirs. Maybe it was a secret revealed. Maybe it was minor in their eyes, yet catastrophic in yours. Our emotions as humans are different, therefore, so are our reactions.
When you say I'm sorry, it doesn't grant automatic forgiveness. But when you mean it, it gives automatic relief. That being said, we should not apologize simply to free our conscience. Only when we are truly sorry.  

"I forgive you."
This is admitting you were hurt. This is allowing room to breathe in your heart and mind again. We should not plague our bodies with ill memories. If a murderer can be forgiven, so can foul words and actions against us. Forgiveness isn't immediate, but it is an option. And if you forgive, but do not forget, then you haven't truly forgiven. To forgive is to let it go. All of it: the feelings, the thoughts and the reactions. It isn't easy, but carrying it around has heavier consequences. When we forgive, we change. 

"I love you."
Those three irrevocable, unexplainable, magnificent words. We say it to our family and friends habitually. We say it in exaggerated thanks. We say it to pets. And we say it in reference to tangible objects. Love, however, in its truest, is intangible. It's in a look. In a feeling. In a moment. In a lifetime. 
Saying "I love you,' means letting go of the past, letting go of fear, letting go of prejudice, letting go of pride, letting go of the future. Saying "I love you" is the most relieving three words we'll ever say after, "I forgive you" and "I am sorry." Saying "I love you" is living in the now. 
If later, you find yourself saying you don't love someone anymore due to ill circumstances, then, like forgiveness, you never loved them at all. Love is forgiveness. If you truly loved, you truly always will. This is why loss hurts so deeply. 

13 reasons not to rush finding a job after college

Before I write anything, I want to say many of my friends are happily living and working at fantastic jobs that allow them ample opportunities and provide comfortable livings. However, if you're 20-something, have a college degree and are not pursuing a standard career lifestyle, the following may be more agreeable to you. 

If you don't have a job as soon as you graduate college, don't kill yourself in pursuit of it. If you truly want to find a job you can. But here are some reasons why you shouldn't plunge into the first career job thrown your way.

1. It restrains you. You tell yourself you're just getting that two or three years of experience and you're out of there. But are you really? This leads to number two.

2. You become comfortable. Three and a half years down the line you're still working the same job and not working toward any other goal. But you have learned to budget your money and you get a steady paycheck. You're independent and happy (isn). Meanwhile, your lifelong dreams and goals are collecting dust on a shelf. 

3. No career equals flexibility. If you're still bar tending or working as a barista, you can take on more shifts, or give away more hours as you please. In this, it allows you give for other events. Non-work related activities. Whether it's a four-day weekend getaway, a friend's wedding or three months abroad then on to the next paycheck. 

4. Your creativity is tested. You learn you will try just about anything once and apply just about anywhere in order to get where you want to be. At one point I was writing articles for pennies. Pennies! I'm not exaggerating. 

5. You'll become a little more fearless as each day passes. You'll take the leaps others won't. You're going to try a lot of garbage jobs and you'll quit each one without worrying about where next month's rent is coming from because you have nothing to lose. 

6. Most likely you'll be more optimistic about life. You're still waiting for your big break, chance or opportunity. And it's out there. You didn't start at a job you don't love, so you're never escaping, only pushing forward, waiting or looking. 

7. Failure becomes irrelevant. At this point, you've been rejected, insulted or down-right embarrassed on the journey to your dream. But it doesn't stop you. Failure isn't a fear to you, it is simply an inevitable part of living.  

8. You can be more open-minded and insightful about career choices. You will become firm in sticking to your passions, and less firm on life-changing decisions like getting a tattoo. At this point, you're in your late mid-to-late twenties so you know what you want and don't need to hide behind expectations of others. So what if I posted an article about "X" on social media five years ago. 

9. You won't stress over debt. In the beginning you'll be frantic about getting that loan payment in before a late fee or interest hits. But if you've deferred that loan, accumulated six late fees and a couple over drafts already, you'll just say, "I'll get there someday." And, you will. And you'll do it while everyone else is planning their 401k plan. 

10. You'll know the true value of a dollar. You may have debt, but chances are you're still driving your college clunker, living in a cheap cottage and learning to cook on your own. Your career friends are going out for dinner because they're too tired to cook. They have car notes and house notes. On the weekends they're looking at paint samples and you're watching re-runs on Netflix. 

11. You'll find pride and confidence in whatever you do. You've had time to discover who you are individually, without a career burdening you. Anything you do at this time, you'll become proud of and embrace it as part of your journey. 

12. You'll remain young. A combination of all of the above. You're optimistic, adventurous, curious, open-minded, talented, full of fear, yet fearless. You’ll always be making and changing your plan. You’re lost and found all at once. You won't worry about bills or if you've made the right career choice. You haven't had to grow up yet, and it really isn't all that terrible. 

13. You'll learn patience. When that career comes, you'll be ready. And it will have been worth the wait. 

30 life lessons learned by the age of 25

I was in the shower after a long July run. We all know showers are the place we think best.
I live in Beijing, China and I just stood there rinsing the shampoo from my hair thinking, how the hell did I get here. Everything in life has a purpose and everything that happens teaches us a lesson, right? By the time we reach our mid-twenties we've learned about 98% of these lessons. Maybe the lesson was different for you, but the moment, was the same.

Let's look at a few categorically (because list are fun).

The daily lessons
1. When someone smiles at you. 
Lesson: You realize it really is the little things in life that make a difference.
2. When you smile at someone.
Lesson: You just sparked something.
3. When someone holds a door for someone.
Lesson: Chivalry is not dead.
4. When someone gives up their seat on the bus or subway. 
Lesson: There is hope for the human race.
5. When you see a beggar or homeless person. 
Lesson: Things could always be worse.

The growing up lessons
1. Moving out of your parent's house for the first time (most likely during college years). 
Lesson: You learn curfews were cheaper than bills and free food was better than fast food every day.
2. Moving back in with your parents
Lesson: There's no shame in back tracking a little, and parents are the most understanding, least judgmental people because they've been there.
3. Moving away from your hometown (not including college). 
Lesson: It's harder for the people you left behind than it ever will be for you.
4. Starting your first 'real' job
Lesson: You'll have to work a lot of menial positions to get where you want to be in life.
5. When you quit your first 'real' job.
Lesson: You won't let a paycheck control your dreams and ambitions and ramen noodles never tasted so liberating.
6. The first time you cheat, try a drug or sleep with a stranger. 
Lesson: Ok, so you did something you said you'd never do. It's not the end of the world and it doesn't define you.
7. Getting your college diploma. 
Lesson: Well, I've finished the easy part of life. Now, on to the hard stuff.
8. When you leave the country for the first time.
Lesson: You'll learn how close-minded you still are and how different the world truly is. You'll learn the struggles and victories of others have different definitions and meanings in other places of the world.
9. When you admit your opinions (even if they're different). 
Lesson: This is when you learn that it is ok to have opinions different from everyone else and yours are not right or wrong. Also, that honest is better for the people around you, as well as yourself.
10. When you learn to love yourself. 
Lesson: Nothing in life will hold you back now, You are you and no opinion, words spoken or stare will change who you are and who you desire to be. This is when you learn to be confident regardless.


The life lessons 
1. Taking that step of commitment in a relationship or life-altering decision. 
Lesson: Prove, not only to yourself, but to others you don't have commitment issues.
2. Moving on from a major commitment because you failed.
Lesson: You tried. Failing is irrelevant.
3. Moving on from that commitment for general reasons.
Lesson: Getting that first time out of the way prepares you for the next part of your journey.
4. The first time you lose someone close to you, be it death or simply separation.
Lesson: To cherish moments and encounters with every human in your life. This is cliche, but it only sinks in that first time. Not your first funeral but the first time it really strikes your soul.

5. The next time and all times after that when you lose someone close to you. 

Lesson: You realize life is a bitch and you 

6. When you forgive someone.
Lesson: Letting go is harder than you ever expected, but you can now live your life peacefully.
7. When someone forgives you.
Lesson: Trust is capable of being regained.
8. When your heart gets broken.
Lesson: Your mouth becomes a bowel movement and your thoughts seem uncontrollable and you realize how weak and pathetic you can be. But eventually you'll learn how much stronger and wiser you became.
9. When you break someone's heart.
Lesson: You never know what you've got until it's gone.
10. When you apologize and mean it. 
Lesson: You'll learn that thinking before you speak or act is a vital choice in sustaining anything. Also forgiveness doesn't always come easy.
11. When someone apologizes to you and means it.
Lesson: You'll learn it's as easy to forget, as it is to forgive.
12. When you choose to be selfish. 
Lesson: The only person you have to fear disappointing is yourself, and some days that's harder than disappointing others.
13. When you no longer make choices, but you make decisions.
Lesson: You're learning to make commitments, no matter how big, far-fetched or serious they may be. You're in all senses of the word growing up.
14. When you're given a second chance.
Lesson: You learn to let go of fear and not let it stand in your way again.
15. When you try again.
Lesson: It won't be the last time you start over, and that's ok. You're trying and that's more than some people can say.

A Dirt Road Confession and Redemption

I often get writing ideas while listening to a song. For many reasons, but mostly, in the words of Eric Church, "funny how a melody sounds like a memory." Ninety-eight percent of songs remind me of a moment, an encounter or a feeling in my past. 
Brooks and Dunn - "Can't Take The Girl Out Of The Honky Tonk," inspired this blog about a southern girl trying to travel the world. And The Eagles, "Love Will Keep Us Alive," inspired a birthday blog for my father with a plethora of lyrical references.  Also, Taylor Swift, Dolly Parton, Merle Haggard and many others (probably of the country genre) have inspired blogs from me. 
This blog comes from an off-the-charts kind of country musician, Clayton Anderson and his song, "What You're Missin'". It's essentially about not being from the country, where we do it best, of course. It's about all the small things in country life. 
As a southerner, it reminded me of all the things I do know I'm missing. But as a traveler, it  flipped a switch. Non Americans are always very curious about American customs, food and culture, especially those of the South.
"I don't get it," and "never heard of it," are phrases I often get. Not because it's dumb or anything, but because they dunno what they're missing.
Since living abroad I've written a lot about where I come from. I've discussed the types of country people and about all the southern habits that require explanations. I now understand not everyone lives off, or even near, a dirt road. Much less do they understand why it's dirt. Not everyone hunts and fishes recreationally (or at all). Nor do they possess enough guns and ammunition for an army in one household. Rodeos, pickup trucks and trailers always need pictures for calrification. 

Now, I started this blog a week or two ago. I often have a thought but it's not always long enough for a post or the ending hasn't occurred. Eventually, my thoughts merge, though.
Secondly, this may offend you, but I promise it's not my intention. Also, if it does, sorry I'm not sorry because I promised to never censor my writing. Feelings get hurt and people say and do things others don't like. That's life.
So here it is... No matter who you are, where you come from, what you look like or what your occupation is, someone somewhere disapproves or disagrees (without even knowing you).
Maybe they don't approve of your behavior and actions or disagree with your constant use of the word, "fuck."
They don't like that you have opinions, and they especially don't like what those opinions are maybe because you are a woman, you are a drop out, you are an addict (of any substance) or you are religious. And if you're not religious they definitely don't want to hear your thoughts.
As far as your looks, you're overweight, you have a sleeve of ink where your arm should be, your pants are to loose and your skirt is too tight. And why do you have metal in your face?
On to the part that may sting -where you're from. Every place has a stigma, whether we acknowledge it or not.
I'm from the South. Specifically Louisiana in the "Deep South." Origin of the Civil Rights movement and most likely the starting point or hold up of any major equality debate in the Supreme Court (or any court) throughout history.
If you haven't guessed already, the South can have a pretty negative stigma at first glance. The stereotypes range from absurd and embarrassing to down right ignorant.
When traveling you learn how negatively people often think of the States, especially the South.
Here are a few stereotypes addressed to me or a few questions asked from friends, American and foreign.
First, homosexuals hate religion and religious people because it's/they're against same-sex partnership. False: I know a homosexual Christian.
Second, all southerners are racist. We love rebel flags and all have family members in the KKK. And if you're black, your relative is a member of the Black Panthers. False. I and southern friends have dated black men. My best friend in elementary school is black! One of my dearest friends in China is black and I don't even recognize it because it is irrelevant to our friendship. Do I have some ridiculously racist relatives? Yes, and it's embarrassing as hell!
Bringing me to my next point. In the South, all white people are Republican, pro-life, anti-gay marriage and essentially opposed to anything new age.
Here's a bomb - I voted for Obama. I'm pro-choice, I believe in prison reform and rehabilitation, and I honestly wouldn't be opposed to better gun control laws.So next point. Why do you have so many guns? Well, 95% of my closest friends and family hunt for recreational purposes. It's necessary to have a shotgun or a rifle for those purposes (if not a bow). Why do they have AK47s and other assault weapons? Basically, it boils down to the Second Amendment and the fact that they simply can. Honestly, until living abroad, I never realized it was uncommon to have guns in your home. 
Lastly, Americans are known (especially by Europeans) to be extremely ignorant of the rest of the world. For me, this was 100% accurate. I've learned more geography about the world in the last 14 months than I've known my entire life. I know capitals of countries I didn't know were countries and I can identify a few flags, too. I know staple foods, customs and religions of certain countries. America is culturally vast in itself, so we often don't look past our borders. This brand wasn't a hard one to overcome, it just took some applying on my part. It's not that I didn't want to know, it's just most facts are more interesting when coming from someone of that race, nationality or country. 
Now, don't let this get you down. The world also recognizes American pride, our ability to make the best sweet tea, BBQ, fried food of any sort, hold doors and say sir and mamn. They recognize southern smiles, and manners. When they let you in, you can show them you're not the stereotype they thought you were. 
All of that needed to be said, because no matter what we deny in ourselves, it may still be a fact among our peers. I'm not racist, but maybe you are. I'm not homophobic, but maybe you are. I'm exposed, and maybe you're sheltered. I don't pray at night, but suppose you do. 
When love won and gay marriage became legal, I posted on Facebook about people saying they love the sinner, but not the sin. To me, the "sin" is a part of the "sinner," so really you're not loving them wholly.  Right? I mean you see it as a sin, but to them, it's who they are.  
Traveling and meeting people from all over the world is only one way to expand our minds. I don't think openly because I travel, I travel because I think openly.
I've tried defending and explaining the above mentioned stereotypes and profiling of southerners with my own lifestyle such as, "not everyone is like that," or "that's not how everyone thinks." 
Often, I found myself ashamed of where I'd come from. Not my friends or family, but the South. Especially as a white person. But, those are my people. Friends of my family or family of my friends. I don't know if I was ashamed or just embarrassed of the association, but regardless, I'm sorry fellow southerners. 
I've seen the sun rise over ancient rice fields in China. I've watched the light show of the Eiffel Tower while drinking champagne. I watched the sun set behind the Mediterranean Sea. I saw The Great Wall of China and the Roman Colosseum for cryin' out loud. But nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, for me, is better than all of the things the South gives me: 
Mud betwixt your toes. Walking barefoot in the grass. Picking berries, making jelly or shelling' peas with my G. Fresh cut grass or a pile of leaves to jump into. I love bonfires and getting drunk with the same 'ol people. I love the sound of the crickets and katydids singing in the trees in summertime. Thunderstorms from the front porch and rain on a tin roof. I like listening to old men tell stories about the good 'ol days. I like men in Wranglers with skoal rings and cowboy boots. I love the Southern drawl and the funny isms and slang we use. And most of all, I love shitty country music about trucks, trains and tractors. The South is what I love and it isn't for everyone, but it is for me. 
It all boils down to the fact that I know who I am and if at the end of the day that makes me a loud mouthed country girl with a sailor's vocabulary and too much sass then that's who I am. I'm not every southern person and every southern person isn't me. I'm no belle and I'm not pageant material, but I am southern, and I am a woman. 
Stereotypes, double standards and stigmas are a bitch.
We need to embrace whatever it is we do, whoever it is we are and most importantly, wherever it is we come from. We may not can change those things, but should we ever, anyway? It's bad because we let people tell us it's bad.