We aren't all so lucky to remain best friends with the people we loved at age 10, but at one point, they are the friend we loved most. That feeling, or memory never really leaves. Nonetheless, I think it was Debbie, as one of my first best friends, that plays a large role in who I am today in the sense of my views of equality, inequality and civil rights. She was the first person of another race I ever loved. And although we don't communicate often anymore, there is the beautiful thing of social media. I watched her graduate college and she has a great job and is now having a child of her own. I can still watch her grow and love through photos and words, just as she can watch me.
I've now loved a hundred people of different races, colors, religions and sexuality at this stage of the game. However, as ignorant and embarrassing as they may be, I have some things to confess and address.
See, recently I've been honored with the friendship of this girl Samantha. She's like a little sister to me. She puts up with me and listens to me and she loves in the most innocent way. She and I share an interesting bond because we are about as opposite as two humans can be right down to the fact that I'm white and she's black. But, here's a funny story about us...
On our trip to the beach a few weeks back, Sam and I were the only foreigners for miles in this tiny beach town. I kept saying things like, "they've never seen so many white people in one place." She would give me this look like, 'are you for real right now?' and that was it. She'd laugh and call me crazy. Then we were retelling the story to Gurpreet and she said, "I just really thought you forgot I was black." And serious as a heart attack I looked at her and said, "I did."
When I look in the mirror I see myself: white girl, average weight, fairly tall for a woman, brown hair, etc.
When I look at Sam, I just see a woman with a beautiful complexion, eyes as big and wide as a child accompanied by a voice as soft as a mouse. She speaks English. She's American. She knows the same American customs and such as I do. I just see a girl I love. I don't give a shit what color she is, so I guess my mind categorized her skin color as irrelevant. As it should be.
Here is where the confession comes into play. Some truth that maybe other Southerners have been afraid to say, or simply to ignorant to realize like myself. We are all aware that racism is not dead, although LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that changed history. But by how much? And why is race still an issue 51 years later? That's at least two new generations born into this mess. For most of us, we can't possibly imagine what it must be like to be discriminated against simply for being born (and don't be the ass who says, 'yeah, but blacks hate whites, too.')
So, here I will once again offend some of my Southern brethren (the caucasian lot of you, anyway).
As a southerner there are certain ways you abide, actions you perform, hobbies you participate in and phrases you use that make you a southerner. It really is a different planet and another world in ways. Unfortunately, a more ignorant and naive world at times.
There are things no one ever says but at least one person is thinking it. And if it is said, ridicule and crucifixion follow. About the South and Christianity. About life, sex, drugs and alcohol. But above all of those things, we fear speaking about race. It doesn't mean we are or are not racist. It's just one of those tabooed subjects. Never discuss politics and religion if you wish to keep the peace. And in the South I believe it adds race to that list, because unfortunately there are still people who cannot un see color.
Sam and myself, along with another black and white co-worker (both of them from the South) were discussing history, race, lynchings and stuff. Who knows how the subject arose, but nonetheless, I decided something from the conversation: The truth about the 'beloved' Confederate Flag. Growing up in the South we had to have the coolest Dixie Outfitter shirts, where the majority of the shirt's art is the rebel flag. Remember those? For a lot of us it's no more than a sign of being country, redneck, or hillbilly. I just always thought it really was history and if it offends you, you should go because that's what all the adults said. Sadly, that's what those who are offended by it do. Walk away. To African Americans, a rebel flag reads "Turn away. Trouble ahead."
The truth is the actual battle flag of the Civil War is not the rebel flag we parade on our front porches, flag poles or bumper stickers today. The flag we fly is the one used most widely by the KKK and Dixiecrats as a political symbol during the '40s and '50s.
I will no longer purchase anything with the flag, support any establishment bearing it's marks or wave that son of a bitch.
It's heartbreaking I didn't realize this until October 17, 2015 at 25 years old. Ignorance really is bliss, isn't it? The shit we tell ourselves so we don't feel guilty or so we can justify where we come from or who we are/were is pathetic. I always tell people to get off my case about how much I swear. I tell them the words are only vulgar because they've been categorized that way. Maybe so, hell, I don't know. And if the rebel flag is vulgarized enough to African Americans that they would literally walk away from a place or situation because of it, then maybe it isn't about the freedom or history of the southern states. Also, let's not forget the South was fighting to keep slavery, not freedom.
Here's the conclusion:
If you like your Civil War history and reenactments then carry on, but by all means change your flag to one of the three flags from the actual Civil War. If for nothing more than accuracy. I agree The Civil War is a huge part of our history and we should not alter the truth behind the Confederate or Union sides motives to win, but let's be accurate in which flag we defend, shall we?
Now, keep in mind the phrase: "We all have our crosses to bare." See how southerners bare the "Southern Cross," more formerly known as 'The Confederate Flag' and even more formerly as 'the rebel flag.' Now, for whites, supremacists or not. KKK members or not. Racists or not. The white majority sees the flag as that: a cross, history, pride, etc.
Some other definitions of the word 'cross' are, "contrary, unfavorable, adverse, opposite." So, I presume that's what the majority of African Americans would view the flag as. Because regardless of how much history the flag represents, let's not forget what history it remembers, honors and stands for... Especially the particular flag we display today.
Now, what was the basis of this blog you might wonder since all that Confederate Flag bullshit was months ago? The answer is Mcgraw-Hill Publishing --- Fuck you! And I don't apologize for my choice of words. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to be an African-American parent sending children to school and telling them they come from such a dark and disgusting history, and that no matter who they are now or where they come from, there is a chance people will look down upon them because of their skin color.
If you are unaware of the McGraw-Hill Publishing situation, there was a section in a textbook that referred to slaves as 'immigrants,' and 'workers.'
Are you serious?
Workers make money. Immigrants come willingly or at the least, with no other option from war or famine. When you look around and see all that this country is today you better remember who worked the land when it was unworkable and who did so in forced and unbearable conditions.
Eracism is done through acknowledgment of the past and acceptance that the future does not have to be the same. Change is the only truth; erasing history is not. As human beings we falter, but we shouldn't hide it. All we can do is say yes, we failed, but we will do our best not to again. This is what our nation should be, yet it is too prideful, broken and unforgiving.
The thing that is most infuriating is this: no one is an American. Even Native Americans are historically traced to from Asia. It was a land a bunch of lost people took. The original settlers came here to escape persecution, now look what the world has become. It's in a constant state of persecution. In a nutshell this is the majority of the world's thought process.
"You're black? Eh...
You're gay, OMG!
You murdered someone when you were 16 and you're 88 now? Wow, you shitty human you.
You did drugs? Spend 20 years in prison, druggie.
You wear a turban? TERRORIST!!!
You're Muslim? God save you, you terrorist!
You're a soldier, let me spit on you and disgrace your funeral.
You had a sex change? I'll be praying for you.
You're an immigrant? Go back to your own country!
You can't speak English? Go back to your own country!
You're different from me? I'm afraid of you and that's all it boils down to!!! "
The American Dream has been evident in people since the first settlement in Jamestown. The American Dream can be viewed and defined in a number of ways, but at the end of the day, it is desire and lust. We should all dream and drive ourselves, but why must we tear down the rest along the way?
As we grow up we find out how truly evil the world is. We can pray for it if we're religious, we can ignore it and add to the chaos, or we can nurture and take care of what is left of it. But no matter what we do, we cannot erase it, only create it.
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