Brooks and Dunn - "Can't Take The Girl Out Of The Honky Tonk," inspired this blog about a southern girl trying to travel the world. And The Eagles, "Love Will Keep Us Alive," inspired a birthday blog for my father with a plethora of lyrical references. Also, Taylor Swift, Dolly Parton, Merle Haggard and many others (probably of the country genre) have inspired blogs from me.
This blog comes from an off-the-charts kind of country musician, Clayton Anderson and his song, "What You're Missin'". It's essentially about not being from the country, where we do it best, of course. It's about all the small things in country life.
As a southerner, it reminded me of all the things I do know I'm missing. But as a traveler, it flipped a switch. Non Americans are always very curious about American customs, food and culture, especially those of the South.
"I don't get it," and "never heard of it," are phrases I often get. Not because it's dumb or anything, but because they dunno what they're missing.
Since living abroad I've written a lot about where I come from. I've discussed the types of country people and about all the southern habits that require explanations. I now understand not everyone lives off, or even near, a dirt road. Much less do they understand why it's dirt. Not everyone hunts and fishes recreationally (or at all). Nor do they possess enough guns and ammunition for an army in one household. Rodeos, pickup trucks and trailers always need pictures for calrification.
Now, I started this blog a week or two ago. I often have a thought but it's not always long enough for a post or the ending hasn't occurred. Eventually, my thoughts merge, though.
Secondly, this may offend you, but I promise it's not my intention. Also, if it does, sorry I'm not sorry because I promised to never censor my writing. Feelings get hurt and people say and do things others don't like. That's life.
So here it is... No matter who you are, where you come from, what you look like or what your occupation is, someone somewhere disapproves or disagrees (without even knowing you).
Maybe they don't approve of your behavior and actions or disagree with your constant use of the word, "fuck."
They don't like that you have opinions, and they especially don't like what those opinions are maybe because you are a woman, you are a drop out, you are an addict (of any substance) or you are religious. And if you're not religious they definitely don't want to hear your thoughts.
As far as your looks, you're overweight, you have a sleeve of ink where your arm should be, your pants are to loose and your skirt is too tight. And why do you have metal in your face?
On to the part that may sting -where you're from. Every place has a stigma, whether we acknowledge it or not.
I'm from the South. Specifically Louisiana in the "Deep South." Origin of the Civil Rights movement and most likely the starting point or hold up of any major equality debate in the Supreme Court (or any court) throughout history.
If you haven't guessed already, the South can have a pretty negative stigma at first glance. The stereotypes range from absurd and embarrassing to down right ignorant.
When traveling you learn how negatively people often think of the States, especially the South.
Here are a few stereotypes addressed to me or a few questions asked from friends, American and foreign.
First, homosexuals hate religion and religious people because it's/they're against same-sex partnership. False: I know a homosexual Christian.
Second, all southerners are racist. We love rebel flags and all have family members in the KKK. And if you're black, your relative is a member of the Black Panthers. False. I and southern friends have dated black men. My best friend in elementary school is black! One of my dearest friends in China is black and I don't even recognize it because it is irrelevant to our friendship. Do I have some ridiculously racist relatives? Yes, and it's embarrassing as hell!
Bringing me to my next point. In the South, all white people are Republican, pro-life, anti-gay marriage and essentially opposed to anything new age.
Here's a bomb - I voted for Obama. I'm pro-choice, I believe in prison reform and rehabilitation, and I honestly wouldn't be opposed to better gun control laws.So next point. Why do you have so many guns? Well, 95% of my closest friends and family hunt for recreational purposes. It's necessary to have a shotgun or a rifle for those purposes (if not a bow). Why do they have AK47s and other assault weapons? Basically, it boils down to the Second Amendment and the fact that they simply can. Honestly, until living abroad, I never realized it was uncommon to have guns in your home.
Lastly, Americans are known (especially by Europeans) to be extremely ignorant of the rest of the world. For me, this was 100% accurate. I've learned more geography about the world in the last 14 months than I've known my entire life. I know capitals of countries I didn't know were countries and I can identify a few flags, too. I know staple foods, customs and religions of certain countries. America is culturally vast in itself, so we often don't look past our borders. This brand wasn't a hard one to overcome, it just took some applying on my part. It's not that I didn't want to know, it's just most facts are more interesting when coming from someone of that race, nationality or country.
Now, don't let this get you down. The world also recognizes American pride, our ability to make the best sweet tea, BBQ, fried food of any sort, hold doors and say sir and mamn. They recognize southern smiles, and manners. When they let you in, you can show them you're not the stereotype they thought you were.
All of that needed to be said, because no matter what we deny in ourselves, it may still be a fact among our peers. I'm not racist, but maybe you are. I'm not homophobic, but maybe you are. I'm exposed, and maybe you're sheltered. I don't pray at night, but suppose you do.
When love won and gay marriage became legal, I posted on Facebook about people saying they love the sinner, but not the sin. To me, the "sin" is a part of the "sinner," so really you're not loving them wholly. Right? I mean you see it as a sin, but to them, it's who they are.
Traveling and meeting people from all over the world is only one way to expand our minds. I don't think openly because I travel, I travel because I think openly.
I've tried defending and explaining the above mentioned stereotypes and profiling of southerners with my own lifestyle such as, "not everyone is like that," or "that's not how everyone thinks."
Often, I found myself ashamed of where I'd come from. Not my friends or family, but the South. Especially as a white person. But, those are my people. Friends of my family or family of my friends. I don't know if I was ashamed or just embarrassed of the association, but regardless, I'm sorry fellow southerners.
I've seen the sun rise over ancient rice fields in China. I've watched the light show of the Eiffel Tower while drinking champagne. I watched the sun set behind the Mediterranean Sea. I saw The Great Wall of China and the Roman Colosseum for cryin' out loud. But nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, for me, is better than all of the things the South gives me:
Mud betwixt your toes. Walking barefoot in the grass. Picking berries, making jelly or shelling' peas with my G. Fresh cut grass or a pile of leaves to jump into. I love bonfires and getting drunk with the same 'ol people. I love the sound of the crickets and katydids singing in the trees in summertime. Thunderstorms from the front porch and rain on a tin roof. I like listening to old men tell stories about the good 'ol days. I like men in Wranglers with skoal rings and cowboy boots. I love the Southern drawl and the funny isms and slang we use. And most of all, I love shitty country music about trucks, trains and tractors. The South is what I love and it isn't for everyone, but it is for me.
It all boils down to the fact that I know who I am and if at the end of the day that makes me a loud mouthed country girl with a sailor's vocabulary and too much sass then that's who I am. I'm not every southern person and every southern person isn't me. I'm no belle and I'm not pageant material, but I am southern, and I am a woman.
Stereotypes, double standards and stigmas are a bitch.
We need to embrace whatever it is we do, whoever it is we are and most importantly, wherever it is we come from. We may not can change those things, but should we ever, anyway? It's bad because we let people tell us it's bad.
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