Monday, August 4, 2014

Learning the language...

I've always heard people learn a language best  from hearing it spoken repetitively. Context is the first thing I've picked up at an attempt to learn Mandarin. If you know the context of the situation you can more easily figure out the words, or at the least, the proper response.
After a month in China, here is what I can say in Mandarin. 
(I am not going to type pin yin for you. This is just for an idea of how complicated the language is for me.)
So far I can say:
hello/how are you
no
thank you
cat 
dog
this/that 
handsome/beautiful/cute 
he/she is cute/handsome/beautiful
coke
water
goodbye
My name is Amie
I am American
I am a teacher
I don't know
Let's go
Cheers (empty your glass)
Right?
How much?
I love you
And on a good day I can count to 10 :)

Now, I can say all of those things, but let's keep in mind my accent. The tones are key in learning to speak Mandarin. For example, I was practicing with my Chinese friend and showing her how proud I was to be able to say, "I'm a teacher." She laughed at me and said, "You have to poop?"
So, you can see how it is important to nail the correct tone. Imagine if I'd said that to a stranger and their child on an elevator or the subway. Awkward...

There are four tones: flat (1st), rising (2nd), rise then fall (3rd), and fall (4th). You could have the word "wu" but depending on the tone above /u/, it has a completely different meaning. 
I just copied this from an Internet site. I have no idea what these words mean. This is just to give you an idea of what is going on. 



Here is how understanding the process of basic communication is working for me inside the classroom and outside the classroom. 

Outside:
Last Wednesday I went to buy some new running shoes. The shoes were clearly separated by women's on the left side and men on the right side of the table. I picked out some cute purple and grays from the left side. When I signed the Chinese number nine to the attendant, she smiled and shifted to the right end of the table. I understood that this meant, "Damn, you have a big foot. Only men's shoes come in those sizes." 
With not much of a choice, I shifted right and found some aqua and gray Nike Frees for $50/USD. I don't care if they're knockoffs or the real deal. All I care is that I can go running in a brand new pair of kicks that I can say were $50 Nike Frees. :) 

Inside of class: 
Teacher is "lao shi" in Mandarin. When I hear "lao shi" in my class I know the students are speaking to me (or about me.)
"Bu zhi dao," means "I don't know." When I hear this I know my instructions weren't clear or they need more specific directions.
The students go pretty easy on me to be their new teacher. I replaced a teacher who has been at my school for three years.
I am learning as much each new day as my students are. During class, if a student says "bu zhi dao" toward me, I am pleased they at least recognize me as their teacher and I find a small piece of satisfaction in that. 


Each day I am learning a new word or phrase from my coworkers and friends. I am taking mental and physical notes all throughout the day. I get advice from friends who've been in China longer and combine them all to find what works in making the language stick. I don't expect to be fluent next month, or at the end of the year, but I want to be able to make a point and communicate when I can.

Monday, July 28, 2014

To the man of my dreams :)

Twelve hours away, my Daddy is waking up soon to another year of life. I am not homesick yet, but missing today with my daddy makes me miss him more than I already was. 
This short blog is for my Daddy. It is personal and I want him to know no matter how near or far I am from him, he is always on my mind and in my heart. I am who I am today because of him. 

The bond of love between a father and a daughter is harder for me to describe than the word "love" itself. It never fades or falters. There is something fragile about being responsible for someone else's life, especially when in Daddy's eyes, that somebody is still a five-year-old girl. 
My friends are all getting hitched and having children of their own and that scares the hell out of me for two reasons.
1. Because I still need taking care of myself. so there is no way I could be responsible for any other living being. 
2. Because I fear I'll never be the type of parent mine were to me. 

People always say a girl will marry her father. When you are a young girl it seems dad is the only option and you envy mommy for marrying daddy first. When you are a teenager it just seems strange, but as you grow older the saying begins to make sense.
As women, we spend our lives searching for Prince Charming. Disney gets us started on that journey by age three. My search for Prince Charming has ended. Then again, it never really began. Why search for a Prince when I already have a King?
If you aren't close with your father, or have daddy issues, then this tidbit of lovey dovey isn't for you. However, if your daddy is your lifeline, then stay tuned. You may appreciate the bond my father and I share. 

My dad was the first man I ever loved.  It happened so suddenly some 24 years ago.  From crawling to bicycles to my first car, it was always Daddy who taught me. No one bandages a scrapped knee like Dad and no one tells you to try again like a dad. 
It only makes sense that I compare every man I romantically encounter to my dad. He's quite a lot to live up to so I sympathize for my future partner. Sure I've loved other men, but at some point the other ones have let me down or just didn't meet the standard.  Daddy on the other hand has never, not once, let me down.  

From my father I inherited all of his best qualities and some odd quirks. I have my father's charm. He is quiet on the surface sometimes but once you get him talking he is a riot. , I have my father's sense of humor, cause which can sometimes lead to situations where I put my foot in my mouth. I have my father's height and his nasty habit of nail biting. We hate a fair share of all vegetables, yet my dad will eat beets from a jar like I eat black olives straight from the can (two veggies many hate.) I have my father's passion for music and it is the bond I believe makes us strongest. I could go on for hours about what I love most about myself thanks to my daddy, but I'll move on to the point. 

Today is my Daddy's birthday. This makes the second year in a row that I've been on the other side of the world for my father's birthday. Last year Europe, this year China. Next year, who knows three ?
My dads three favorite things are The Eagles, The Dallas Cowboys and fishing. For my daddy I'm writing him a birthday letter with a ton of Eagles song lyrics. This is my way of joining his love of the Eagles and my creative writing. Please note the lyrics obviously won't have the same meaning in my letter as they do in the songs. For those who are not an avid fan and aware of the power of an Eagles song, I have italicized the lyrics. 

This one's for you Pops! :)


Daddy,
I'm standin' on a corner between bliss and heartache. In this world we all become prisoner's of our own device. Mine is travel and escape. It takes a certain kind of fool to branch out from the home they know in search of another world. And I'm already standing on the ground you have laid for me. To me, home is where the soul grows still and comfortable. You know I love home and it is always with me. But, you know I am looking for something more in this life and in myself. So, home for me is a place you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave it. 
You already know I don't want to just be working on the dreams I planned to try, I want to take another shot of courage and chase those dreams. This 'ol world still looks the same and I'm already gone and I'm feelin' strong. I will sing this victory song and make you proud. Rumor has it, you can make it if you try. You've just gotta lay it on the line and everything will be fine. And if it isn't, then I'll just have to get over it. 
You told me if I hate it here (home) then leave. So, in a New York minute I was gone. First to New York, now China. You knew what that felt like and that's why you left California. It gets hard being the new kid in town somedays, but I know I have support from you. If I were with you now you'd say, "everybody loves you so don't let them down." I'm not afraid to take chances knowing you have my back. Sooner or later we all have to die and I know I'll die happily with no regrets. That's a stone cold fact.
I'm living life in the fast lane and missing you more each day. I'm just a victim of love kept together by the strength you give me. With the distance, I'm coming apart at the seams and I know you were trying  to play it tough so I could be wrong, but I'm not when I say I know that you miss me as much, if not more. We may have a heartache tonight but tomorrow we will hide our fear and sorrow. 
I'm going back in time and it's a sweet dream when I picture being home with you on the lake or river fishing. You know we always had each other when we were bonding over Lunchables and Gatorade on the water. I hope your day brings you a peaceful easy feeling and you eat lots of cake and ice cream. Thank you for everything you have ever done and everything I know you will do in the future. I'm sending you the best of my love and hoping it reaches you quickly. I hope you've enjoyed the corny spin I put on your birthday letter. Just know you'll always be my man and that love will keep us alive.

xoxo

-Ames :) 


 

 
 















Saturday, July 26, 2014

Under Pressure

Scrolling through Pinterest in an everyday fit of boredom I came across "21 Tips to Creativity." On the list were:
Spend time with children, people watch, go for a walk travel and ask "why?" 

Since those above mentioned, and a few others on the list, is all I've done in the past three weeks, I think it's safe to say my creativity is accelerating.

I make fun of American celebrities who name their children Apple and North because in American culture, and in my opinion, it's just silly. However, in China, the children at our school have quite a collection of unique names. Each student has their given Chinese name, but also their English name. We have a Zero, a Xerox and a Snowy. We have a few classics such as Henry, Charles and Cathy, too. It's adorable because from what I hear they just choose whatever English name they wish. All this means is sometimes you tell a five-year-old they can choose a name for them self and you end up with a kid named after their favorite thing which could be Bubbles, Candy or Noodles.
The English name is essentially just a nickname and can change periodically for some students. So maybe when Noodles burns out on pasta she'll go by Barbie. Who knows?

My first day observing I instantly fell in love with one of the Small Star students. She walked in school holding a sandwich bag with a giant horsefly residing inside... Still alive. She will forever be, "bug in a bag girl," to me. She twirls around in her dress without a care in the world, picking an occasional wedgie or pulling her dress over her head and resting it there for several minutes as she makes faces no one can see. I laugh regardless because she is five and doesn't care that she's flashing her panties to the world. That, my friends, is the beauty of childhood. I'm very excited to say I'll be taking over as teacher in her class so she is mine forever now. :) Of course, no one has favorites because that's frowned upon, but I'm going to be frank with y'all. 

My nose ring and tattoo distract them. Maybe not a distraction, but I'm new to them, therefore so are my accessories. Their little eyes light up at the shine from my nose every time my head turns a different direction and they catch a glimpse of sparkle for the first time. Their little jaws drop as they smile and point to their own noses in curiosity. I just smile and gesture for them to turn around and listen to the teacher.

I did my first co-teaching lesson today. I ran the three activities and actually managed some responses from the students as opposed to the crickets I encountered my first go around. The last time, which was also the first time, I gave instructions to go outside and the students just stared at me. My boss had to step in and repeat everything I'd said. She looked at me and, with a laugh, said, "slow it down because they didn't catch a word you just said." With blushed cheeks, I followed in the back of the line as we headed outside.

I'm not nervous about the children. Children are easy. I am one. I have no sensor and say the first thing that comes to mind, too. And et's be honest, I still pick wedgies and make funny faces at others. Big whoop. 

As far as mistakes go, the kids will correct me. I've been warned as much. 
Three things worry me:
1. For the next four weeks I am on "probation" as I prove to EF and my school that I am a good teacher and will be a great assets to their company. Therefore, I am under a close watch by my fellow teachers, boss, PAs and any other person in my school above me (which is everyone.) 
2. I worry about forgetting something important in their lesson or activity instructions. For once in my life I have a job that takes part in molding young minds. A job that makes a difference. A job that matters to my future, as a person (no offense to my previous employers.) Also, to the future of the children I'll be teaching.

I've always wanted to do something that would affect others positively. That's why I decided to come and teach in China in the first place. Who better to positively impact than the youth of our world?
I'm not the first person most would pick to be a mentor or role model for their children, but who I am is not how I


will teach.
I know when to behave, when to speak and when not to speak. I know what is and is not appropriate. I have common sense. Give me a break!
3. My biggest concern is my fast-paced talking. This kind of ties into the second worry. Eventually I will get the hang of it, slow down and instead of a fast southern drawl I'll speak a slow, southern drawl. (Which sounds worse than my current state of speech.)

You may be thinking, "they're just kids, how badly could you mess up." Or, "How hard could it be?"
Well, with my company there are four levels in the Kids & Teens centers. Each level has sub levels, too. I could teach any age from three up to 18 in the same day. 

Here is a breakdown of the age groups: 

*Small Stars - ages 3-6
-level A, B and C
*High Flyers - ages 6-10
-levels (I don't even know yet.)
*Trailblazers - ages 10-13
-levels 
*Front Runners - ages 13-18
- levels 1-10 (or something similar)

This is where it gets complicated. Each age group is extremely different, Even level to level is specific. This is where my worry comes in. There is a lot of information to retain on each level and sub-level. I have great co-workers and trainers and friends here to support and guide me through when I am freaking out about a 10 minute activity. EF is very structured and the most of it is habitual, but until I get a routine of my own life is going to be a bit nerve racking. I will not fail, though. That isn't what I do. 

My aunt commented on my previous blog that I inspire people to chase what they believed impossible. And even if they don't chase a dream, I at least give them proof that chasing dreams can be a reality. Wether or not you succeed is another story. 
I promise to do my best to be the best teacher I can be for myself, for my school and for my supporters back in the US of A. :) 
 I'll leave you with the highlight of my day from a 12-year-oldTrailblazer named Mike. 
The teacher was explaining the word, "curse". She said, "A witch turns Mike (student) into a frog. Is that a good or bad thing?" Mike said, "good because someday a princess might kiss him." 










Monday, July 21, 2014

365 Days in Beijing: From the Beginning

I haven't been able to write a single blog-worthy sentence since I've arrived in Beijing. I wrote a filler blog to alert the media I was still alive, but otherwise I was struggling for anything meaningful. I instantly pointed the finger at writer's block, but it was obviously just the exhaustion and schedule overload.
I stepped off the plane in Beijing three weeks ago today. I went straight to a sketchy mini van with a man named Mr. Lee who informed me, "No English," the moment I tried to communicate with him.
I sat in silence with Mr. Lee for 20 minutes in the van as we drove from one airport to the other to pick up other recruits. My awkward silent thinking was eventually interrupted by Mr. Lee's phone ringing "Love the Way You Lie."
Lesson learned- Mr. Lee may not speak English but he still knows a good jam when he hears it. Not my first choice but amusing all the same.
Four more recruits arrived and we all piled into the van as Mr. Lee drove us through Beijing to Dongfang Hotel, our home for the next two weeks.
Instantly I'm chatting with Jacqui from New Zealand, Alexi from Canada and two cats from Michigan: DJ and Derek. The five of us chatted of our origins, college majors, anticipations, previous travel experience, and so on.
It took an hour to get from the airport to Dongfang (just a fact to wrap your head around how big the city is and how horrible rush hour traffic is.)
The first thing I realized was New York has nothing on Beijing. Traffic lights are irrelevant and pedestrians don't have the right a way here. Cross, drive and walk at your own risk.
When we arrived we threw our bags in our rooms and met downstairs to walk the neighborhood. Our hotel is one of maybe 10 structured buildings in the midst of some rather interestingly thrown together homes. Tin roofs from scraps. Random scooter shops and convenient stores a plenty.
We found a Korean BBQ joint around the corner and thank goodness Jacqui and Alexi are fluent in Mandarin or we would have all gone hungry.
In China, just because it is a Western restaurant doesn't mean they'll speak English. KFC, McDonald's, pubs and so forth all have Chinese workers who typically speak little to no English.
When ordering food in China you revert to being five and order from picture books. If you go to a restaurant without pictures... Well, you don't. My roommates and I had to walk out of a restaurant because, even between hand gestures and three translator apps on smartphones, we couldn't even order water. You live and you learn. We couldn't even be mad. We just laughed in embarrassment and went next door to a small restaurant with pictures and a fantastic Chinese lad with Google translate. :)

You need to know "jigs," which means "this one," and how to count to at least three to order the number. I also know "ku-la," which is "coke." The basics will get you by. 
Back on track...
That was the most free time we'd have until now...
The next morning we were up and in the lobby meeting Leonie, our visa goddess. Leonie works at headquarters and has done all of the tedious paperwork for us, before and after arrival. She took us to Tian'Anmen Square where there were roughly 50,000 bystanders waiting to get inside the Forbidden Palace. From there we strolled to a local market area where I got my first dose of the most stereotypically famous things in Chinese culture: red lanterns, masks, dragons, and of course endless seafood deep fried before your very eyes. My favorite were the live scorpions on a stick, still struggling for life. There is crawfish here, too, but I didn't dare try it. Maybe later...
From the market area we caught cabs to headquarters. My favorite thing about transportation in China is that it is dirt cheap. A cab ride for 45 minutes will only run about $15 USD and a subway ride is less than 1 RMB. Ridiculous, I know.
We grabbed a "round table" lunch in the headquarters building. I call them round table lunches/dinners because the best way to eat in China is to feast. If there are eight people you pick about six things and all the food is placed on a lazy susan and everyone digs in as best as possible when eating with chopsticks. This is a great way to figure out what you like and dislike without spending a fortune. After lunch we headed upstairs to sign our lives away to EF for one year.
Once at headquarters we read through our contracts, signed and then our journey truly began.
The next day we were up and in the lobby by early morning to venture out for our physicals. Missing our delicious buffet breakfast, we were all caffeine-less, hungry and tired starting the day off. A little early on for our true colors to show, but that's business.
I'm sweating bullets before we even leave the hotel because I'm told the physical requires blood drawing. If you know me at all, that's my most unpleasant pastime.
When we arrive, I do every other exam before letting them draw my blood. I'm the last one in line and per usual, the nurse sticks my right arm with no luck, proceeds to the left with the same luck, then, with the help of the other nurse, returns to my right arm where they eventually retrieve a tube of my blood. I leave the room unable to move either arm and feel faint from the lack of breakfast and now lack of blood in my body. (I had a lovely bruise on my left arm for a solid week.) 
We are promised pizza after the physical. What we weren't promised was quickly. From the physical we Brady Bunch back into the van and Mr. Lee takes us to the bank so we can open our accounts. This takes approximately two hours. Fortunately, there is a Starbucks upstairs and we are able to purchase a snack to tide us over until pizza. 
Once at headquarters, we indulge in our Domino's like savages rescued from a desert island.
After lunch we have a meeting about moving to Beijing, what to and not to do. Around four I meet my center director, Cynthia, and she takes us to my new school, Beijing 3.
The schools are easy: BJ1, BJ2, etc... The adult centers may differ, though.
We quickly tour the school and just go with introductions because I won't be back again for a week so there isn't much point.
The next two days we were supposed to spend apartment hunting. By now you know my roommates, Jake and Gurpreet. 

A South African, an American and a Brit move in together.... :)

The first place we saw was livable, but the stairwell into the building was rather dodgy. The floor was lined with several dried up plants and the walls were gray concrete. We had five appointments for the next day, so we decided to make a decision at the end of the following day and crossed our fingers for better hunting.
Day two of apartment hunting began and ended in Shaunjing. We were instantly in love with the first apartment shown to us. We have now been living there for five whole days :)
The place was over our desired budget, but rule no. 1 in China: haggle. Bargaining will go a pretty long way here.
A week later we scraped our funds together and signed a one-year lease. We moved in Wednesday and we are pretty much settled and ready for what the year brings us.
Three major differences I found about renting in China versus renting in the States (and most other foreign countries,) here you pay rent three months at a time, wifi for one year and your water, electric and gas are purchased at the nearest convenient store and stored on a card you insert into the wall. So basically, when either of the three run out you just fill it up like a tank of gas.
There are a million other things to say about life in Beijing so far, but I'll continue on the next blog. I just finally had some breathing time today after getting off work early so I'll leave you with this, I wrote this blog on my notes app while taking an hour subway ride home. When the words come you write. Thanks, technology. 


Friday, July 11, 2014

In the beginning there was TEFL...

This week I have been attending TEFL (Teaching English in a Foreign Language) Training in Beijing’s Foreign Experts Exchange Building (or whatever.) This program was instilled to allow teaching rookies, such as myself, the opportunity to take a dreadful, seven-day course in order to skip the two years of experience normally required from the government. I’ll gladly accept the seven day pass, because we all know how hard it is for someone to take a chance on a newbie to give you that two years of experience. 
This place is college all over again, but with less drinking, less visits home, and it only takes seven days. We take quizzes, do projects, receive lectures and get shushed at least once every 30 minutes just like the old days. Oh, and our companies pay for the tuition so that’s a big plus. 
I’m not going to bore you with what’s happening in TEFL China because you’d stop reading after this sentence. It truly is boring, but there are helpful moments and demonstrations. 
I understand why we have to take this class, but it doesn’t make the eight hour classes any more bearable. The people do. The greatest thing about any new adventure is always the people you meet. Even the bad. Of course the scenery is beautiful, unique and so on, but that’s not what makes the memories stick. What makes a journey memorable for me are the humans I share them with. The ones who, even though they had no choice either, were right there with you through that wretchedly boring training class. In only three short days, my classmates are the ones who have kept me motivated, inspired and entertained. 
Twenty-something-year olds training to teach children and nothing has changed from the classroom order we create at the elementary level. There are the dedicated students, the teacher’s pets, the over achievers, the slackers, and of course, the class clowns. We are all here for the same purpose, though.
I’m surrounded mostly by some fellow Americans, the English, a few Canadians and my new favorites, the South Africans. 
The English friends I’ve made speak so properly that they could literally be telling me to bug off and it wouldn’t even be offensive. The Canadians are some of the nicest people I’ve ever encountered. They literally like everyone. The South Africans are so courageous and just happy to be out of their third world country making a new start. 
My fellow Americans come from all over, but their mindsets seem to be similar to mine in the sense that we all find one (or more) thing we truly dislike about the states. We are all here to see the world while doing something worthwhile that many Americans probably never consider as an option. And if they do consider it, it’s  nothing more than an idea or a dream. 
This is just a generalization. Obviously, we are all just a bunch of 20-something-year-olds trying to figure out life. What better way to do that than going back to a juvenile way of thinking on a daily basis. 
Life, to me, isn’t about making millions but about helping others. If you get to see the world while making a difference, then that’s just a bonus. 
There are billions of humans in the world and it’s selfish not to see it and share yourself, your country, culture, ideas, and so on with people from other countries. I’m talking face-to-face, one-on-one, real man-to-man conversations. 
We are the people of the world. Our voices and actions are what’s real. Politicians, actors, athletes and other persons of celebrity status is not who makes our human race. Interacting with real life, average joes is how you truly learn about a country, race, culture and so much more. The media is shit. You’ll only ever know what they want you to know. Which we know isn’t always accurate. I’ve been proved wrong on three “facts” since coming to China a week ago. Overcome the stereotypes.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

A Farewell To Home

As I pack up the last of my favorite things into two suitcases for the next year, I spend my final moments at home finding comfort in leaving everything behind for 365 days. This comfort is found in the past two months I've spent saying goodbye to my family and friends.
Everyone keeps saying to me how brave and free spirited I am. They confess that they could never leave their mamas that long or move so far from home. Well, your family may be the reason you stay, but mine is the reason I leave. I push myself to explore and travel because since last July that has been when my heart is happiest and my spirit at its highest. Although I love my hometown, more now than I did six months ago when I left for New York, I still have places to go and people to meet. I venture from this place in hopes of finding the best version of myself because that is who my friends and family deserve.
Your family and truest friends will love you no matter where your life choices take you. Believe me, I know this 100%. However, we should live our lives so that they are proud and loving us is easy.
Most of you my age are in the boat of figuring out what it is we wish to do for the next 30 years, and that boat feels like it's sinking a bit more every day that we spend undecided. Well, I've upgraded to the Titanic which has allotted me at least another decade to "get it together." There is too much to do in life to feel grounded to a 9-5 at age 24. I was poor for the last five years in college, so what's a few more years of pb&js if it means I'll discover an endless array of opportunities. :)
I've had a few months to think about the past year of my life and where it has brought me so far. I then perused the ideas of where the next year in China will take me. When I get scared I find comfort in the fact that it is just one year, and in the grand scheme of things, that's no time at all.
A year from now I hope to fluently speak Mandarin, pick up Kung Fu as self defense, hit a few countries in Asia, find happiness in teaching children then return to New York and pick back up on publishing and writing dreams. But, if that's not what happens then so be it.
My blogs typically have a purpose or meaning because it isn't often I blog just to type. I wanted to write something to my friends and family to thank them for their love and support. Sooo here goes...

I used to regret some of the friendships I've lost throughout the past 24 years. I've wondered "what if" and wondered who those people are today. Some of the friendships ended as a result of some typical girly cat fight, others from time and distance, lack of common interests, etc. However, I now know why all of those friendships are no more. The core of my existence are the people who have remained in my life up to today.
"You never know what you've got until it's gone."
Well, I never knew how many truly wonderful friends I had until I decided to leave them for a year.
My dad always jokes with me and tells me, "everyone is your best friend." Well, they really are. If you are a friend of mine, you are most likely a best friend. With my schedule, I don't have much time for "lets grab a coffee" friends. I reserve my spare time for the shoulders I can cry on and for those who rely on my shoulders, too.
Every friend in my life has an individual purpose. Each one of you brings something different to my life that keeps me going. And when we can gather together, well, that's just a bonus. :)
To my favorites: here is what I can say in the shortest, least embarrassing amount of words.

Mom - For your beauty, strength and encouragement: inside and out.
Dad - For always letting me be your little girl.
Bubba - For being your truest self and the lack of fear you have about it.
G - For being the most important woman in my life.
Meg - For always asking, then always listening.
Gigi - For coming back and keeping G company
To the rest of my family: For the love and claiming me as one of your own :)

Natalie - For being there. Literally and always.
Kayli - For becoming a mother. It only made you a better friend.
KB- For being the first to show me about being a free spirit.
Britney & Bob - For loving me as much as you love each other.
Wesley - For everything.  
Jeff & Brandi - For the pride you have in me.
Bri - For always reminding me to not fear the unknown.
Justin - For your belief in my humanity. :)
Liz - For all of your wisdom
Lauren - For "if anyone is going to do it, it'd be Amie."
For all of you and the unmentioned: For believing, encouraging and keeping me around with my unpredictable language and actions.

We truly do meet every one for a reason. It's just that some are meant to stay forever and some are meant to just pass through until they find the people that best fit them. Throughout the next year, as I conquer Beijing's heart, you will all be in my heart and mind.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

"Be you! Do what you wanna do."

In the last couple of years I've tried priding myself on being an open-minded accepting human being. I think I'm doing a fairly decent job along the way; however, I think the thing I'm being least honest about is who I am. I have spent so much time running away from the small town, close-minded world I came from and mocking the stereotypes of the South that I've neglected some of the things I've always loved most in life.
I've been so distracted exploring the world, new cities and new faces and finding new hobbies, music and making lifestyle changes that I've often neglected the hobbies, music and lifestyles that were once all I knew.
The idea began when I realized I'm going home to Louisiana in less than two weeks, only to jump back on a plane to flee the country for a whole year. For my entire stay in New York City I haven't missed home. Not a bit. Have I missed my family and friends? Of course, occasionally, anyway (no offense, guys!)
Truth is, I love Louisiana... The saying, "you never know what you've got until it's gone," can apply to most any situation. I love Louisiana! As much as I dislike certain things about my home state, there are things I love there - stereotypes included. I belong in an open field with freshly cut grass blowing in the wind around me. I love cut off blue jeans and worm dirt on my hands while throwing a rod with my old man. I love that I can go for a jog in my neighborhood with my dog trotting along side me without being on a leash. I love that everyone waves and knowing someone is irrelevant. I love the mushy mud in my toes when I'm wading into a lake. I love a cold beer around a bonfire on a night that's hot or cold. I love beer from a Dixie cup when I'm getting my ass beat in a game of beer pong.  I'm most comfortable in a sundress and cowboy boots. I love the fact that I can walk around barefoot in my yard and not worry about catching sepsis or some other disgusting disease lurking on the filthy streets. And yes, I love big trucks and country music.
What I'm saying is it's okay to love all of these things but at the same time love going on a wine tasting around New York City, dressing like a hipster to fit in when you need to and spending $15 on a sandwich. It's okay to want a Louis Vuitton or Michael Kors bag that you wouldn't dare spend a dime on in reality. I'm still a southern girl. I still have my accent, and for the most part my charm. However, I've learned when to shrug people off, when to be short and when to walk quickly. Just because I'm not from here, doesn't mean I'll let you tread on me. 
It's great that I listen to hip-hop and enjoy it, but I'll still tap my foot with the best of 'em to the best of Waylon Jennings and Merle Haggard. I don't have to be a redneck to enjoy real country music, and I don't have to be a city slicker to know every word to the Billboard's top 100.
It's OK to be different. You can make friends and get by in life by staying true to yourself and that's what matters most at the end of the day. I never want to forget that one of my favorite songs was written and released in 1980, or that my favorite musician is Elvis Presley.
My motto in the last year has been to embrace life. Take every chance you can. Leap! Now, I want to remind myself, as I leap not to leave the old Amie behind. Shred the bad parts of yourself, but always hold onto your innocence and all of the things that set you aside from the rest of the world.