In sixth grade cheerleading tryouts I was told to tone down my accent (I obviously never forgot it). I really struggled with -igh and -ite words then. The long vowel sound was extra long in my vocabulary. Anyway, I started speaking slower and that helped kick the problem as long as I'm not drunk or obnoxiously excited (because this is when my accent reaches a new level).
Now I love when people ask me to say certain words or phrases. And I realize people aren't mocking me, just curious or appreciating the sound of my voice. I know this because I do the same thing, like always asking my British roommate to say "blueberry."
Since traveling and meeting people from all over the world with all kinds of accents, whether English is their first, second or even third language, you realize accents are the most fascinating thing. Last night I was having drinks with my English, Canadian and fellow American friend. My Canadian friend told me my accent was changing a bit and I say certain words with less of a drawl (something my friends back home have noticed as well). The English gent explained we pick up on the phrases and expressions of the people around us, which in turn means we pick up a bit of their accents, too. This is something I've realized since I lived in New York, so I agreed. We discussed how great it is that one language can have so many different sounds. Even people whose first language is English such as Australians, Americans, English and Irish are so diverse. Between the jargons and colloquial speech, they're practically different languages.
I say this to say, one of my roommates is from England and the other is from South Africa. Although they both speak English as perfectly as if it were their first and only language (Gurpreet is Indian and also speaks Punjabi and Jakes speaks Afrikaans), I struggle to understand them sometimes because of their accents. Chinese, French, Spanish, South African, and even English people, you name it. It's all a struggle, and it isn't just me.
My boss is an Irish-raised South African, one of my co-workers is, as I like to describe him, "British as hell," and even my fellow American friends were raised on opposite sides of the country than me. Between us, with the 'isms' and shoptalk there is an entire other language of English.
Here, I find myself saying, "what," and "huh" to as many native English speakers as I do to the Chinese. However, I have also adapted many of these slang words. If you thought my vocabulary was colorful and unique before, wait 'til I return this time. Cigarettes are fags, cool is dope, posh is classy, laquer is cool, etc.
My major problem when speaking to non-native English speakers is that I speak too quickly. I've recently been hanging out with an amazing group of Colombian guys. When we first met they made a joke that I should speak like Dory from Finding Nemo and now we have a running joke when I speak to quickly they say, "que" and I repeat the sentence in whale. :)
The guys have also been helping me with my Spanish, which is actually improving. Any little thing I say they praise highly. I said, "yo quiero una cerveza," at the bar the other night and David threw his hands up in praise to say, "Miami (my nickname), your Spanish is getting so good." I laughed and told him that every American knows how to say "I want a beer", ha. Nonetheless, the encouragement feels good.
The key to learning a language is confidence and practice. But more importantly the confidence. You must say things again and again, no matter how ridiculous you feel you sound. If it's wrong, you laugh and try again. The best part about learning a language from someone whose first language isn't English is that they know what it's like to say something incorrectly or not be able to find the right words. I never correct my Chinese or Colombian friends English, unless it is the complete wrong use of a word or the grammar was incomprehensible. Plus, most of my friends are really good at self correction. I don't correct them for three reasons. No. 1: language is a bitch. Conjugations, verb tenses, s-v-o order and all that stuff isn't important (in my opinion) if you can communicate and understand. No. 2: It takes a lot for them to find the confidence to communicate with a native English speaker. It's a process! They need to think in their language, mentally translate, speak the translation, then hear a response, translate to their language, translate their answer, then speak again. NOT EASY! It gets easier, because the process becomes quicker and some of my friends obviously use their English daily, but for those who don't, it's a chore. No. 3: They don't correct me when I know I make mistakes trying to speak their languages.
My friends here have a bad habit of saying, "My English is no good today," if they make more than one mistake in their speech. I tell them it is perfect, because it is to me. What is important is that we can communicate. Who cares how it sounds. Even fellow native speakers can't understand me sometimes because of my slang and speed. I love to tell my friends if they can understand me then their English is great because my accent is so thick.
I speak a little slower these days, and I now have a habit of grading my language and dumbing down my vocabulary when I speak to everyone. I want to be friends with these people and I want to communicate with them just like I would with friends back home, so if that means talking slower, with less slang and a shorter vocabulary list, then so be it.
Like my Colombian friend was pleased with my small Spanish phrase, the Ayi (means aunt, and is the name used for the housekeepers) was ecstatic when she taught me to say "throw away" in Chinese the other day. It's the little things when you are learning a language. For both parties, it's the satisfaction of being able to communicate with someone who doesn't speak your language as their first.
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