To all of my former teachers :)

When I went to college I swore I'd never become a teacher and I would never have a career in the medical field. I hate science so the medical field was out, and I never wanted to deal with other people's children so I said no to education.
Here I am, five years later, teaching English to Chinese children as a second language. Which, correct me if I'm wrong, may be more challenging than teaching any subject to students whose first language is English.
I am just as baffled as the rest of you. Believe me.
This isn't a blog about my life as a teacher. I've informed you all of that bit for the most part. This blog is an apology/now-I-understand-what-you-were-doing blog to all of my former teachers.
When I was in elementary school the thing I hated more than anything in the world was progress reports and report cards when teachers checked that little box of, "he/she is not performing to her maximum potential." My response was always, "How the hell do you know my maximum potential, you're not me."
Well, now I get it. I guess it's like a psychic teacher power or something, but you really can tell when a student is trying, trying their hardest or not trying at all.
I try not to become frustrated with my kids because as they are taking English classes "recreationally," this means they have normal school all day Monday through Friday, just as I did growing up. Classes generally work two ways at our schools: Students come twice a week for one hour each day, or they come once a week for two hours at a time. For weekdays we never have a class before 6:00 p.m. Our students spend all day in Chinese school, then come to us for English class. In China, education is top priority. Anything done extracurricularly is not a sport like basketball, dancing or football in America. Our students' only idea of extracurricular fun is English class with EF or another similar company, additional Chinese classes, or some instrumental music lesson (usually piano.) Typically, there is no time for fun, so this is why we try to make our classes as engaging and fun, yet, educational as possible.
I've been teaching for three months now... give or take a few weeks for training and induction courses.  I now have a pretty good idea of who my star students are, who my go-tos are and who will give me the biggest headaches and speak the most Chinese in class.

[Sidebar: we have a rule, "English, please." Obviously we discourage as much Chinese as possible in our English teaching environment. I am only strict in higher level classes with this rule because they know enough English to use it and be understood. With my Small Stars, however, who are barely fluent in Chinese I am obviously far less strict. If you tell a four-year-old Chinese child to not speak Chinese in class, they may as well be mute. We have TAs (teacher assistant) in each low level class and it is their job to interpret. In my higher level classes I allow my stronger students to explain to the others in Chinese if  they don't understand the assignment or task. I always stick to, "English, please!" because "No Chinese!" sounds too harsh. I want to encourage English speaking, but never let them think their native tongue is wrong or negative. They are learning English as a skill, not a necessity to get by in life.]

All of the above being said, I know now why my former teachers would mark progress reports and report cards such as they did. They aren't mean or trying to get me in trouble, it is their duty as a teacher to tell the parent so the student receives support at home as well as in class. I can encourage and motivate my students to my maximum ability, but if they don't receive equal encouragement from mommy and daddy at home my encouragement is irrelevant. This typically isn't an issue with Chinese students and parents. Making mommy and daddy happy in the success department is more a responsibility than a goal. Regardless, I have a few problem students. I'm not talking about being unable to produce the language quickly, use perfect grammar, speak in the correct tense, etc. I mean the students who have zero interest in learning English and blatantly disrupt my classes or do zero work and give absolutely no participation. It's frustrating because I want to be the fun teacher and the teacher whose class they look forward to between all of their other schooling. It's also frustrating because I feel like I am doing something wrong, or not doing enough. I've been reassured relentlessly by my boss and other teachers that it isn't always my fault and some kids just don't care. They also tell me not to be so sensitive and that the feeling of being a bad teacher will decrease, or at least fluctuate, the longer I am one. We'll see...

So, to all of my former teachers who I was a nightmare for, I apologize. I don't think I was often a naughty student, but I do know I talked too much. I also know I hated math and science, so if you taught me either of those subjects, it's not you, it's the subject. I'm also sorry if I ever made you feel like a poor teacher because I lacked motivation. I'm on your side now :)
P.s. If you think it's annoying when students are talking while you're talking, wait 'til they're speaking a language you don't know. Headache ensue. :)