With the right amount of silence, when I close my eyes I feel home as I listen to the katydids
sing in the trees nearby.
I am in the middle of Beijing, China shortly
after rush hour on a Tuesday afternoon. The sun will set soon and the traffic
of the nightlife will pick up again.
I miss my friends and family. I don't miss my
town, but I miss the things I love most about it. The same feeling happened
when I moved to New York in November. The smells, the sounds and the scenery: the
peace that all of those things bring me never ceases to amaze me.
As a writer, it is natural to pick up not
only on the tangible, but also on the abstract. Description is key in anything
worth reading. This is how you feel a story, not just what your eyes see.
My biggest goal in life is to write a novel. At
this point I often feel I'll never accomplish it. I have a million ideas in my
mind, but none of those ideas ever produce all the steps necessary for a
complete story, which would be a beginning, middle and an end. I only ever
seem to come up with the middle. How to begin and end has always been a
struggle for me. Even in news writing, I write the middle then the ending, and
the beginning is always last.
I feel I can better write the beginning if I
know how it ends. I'm not sure if this is a quirk of all writers or if it is
simply tied to my ADD and constant state of daydreaming.
"We
tell ourselves stories in order to live. The princess is caged in the
consulate. The man with the candy will lead the children into the sea. The
woman in the ledge outside the window on the sixteenth floor is a victim of
accidie, or the naked woman is an exhibitionist, and it would be
"interesting" to know which. We tell ourselves that it makes some
difference whether the naked woman is about to commit a mortal sin or is about
to register a political protest or is about to be, the Aristophanic view,
snatched back to human condition by the fireman in priest's clothing just
visible in the window behind her, the one smiling at the telephoto lens. We
look for the sermon in the suicide, for the social or moral lesson in the
murder of five. We interpret what we see, select the most workable of the
multiple choices. We live entirely, especially if we are writers, by the
imposition of a narrative line upon disparate images, by the "ideas"
with which we have learned to freeze the shifting phantasmagoria which is our
actual experience."
This was the first thing I read this morning on
my hour-long subway commute to work. The first paragraph of Joan Didion's,
"The White Album."
Didion is a literary non-fiction writer, famous
for the "Orchid Thief," and one of my favorites, "The Year of
Magical Thinking," among many other books. If anyone has lived life as a
writer, (aside from Hunter S. Thompson,) it's Joan Didion.
Didion is what I merely dream to be: a literary
non-fiction genius. She writes of her every move, and all those moves of the
people she meets along the way.
As a writer you pick out all of the intricate
details. For example:
“We sat on the beach watching the waves and
tanning in the sun.”
That’s fifth grade sentence level. Think about
how you feel at the beach…
“I dug my toes into the sand until they were so
deep the earth began to feel cool. The sweat ran down my cheeks as the sun kissed my
skin.”
Obviously that wasn’t well thought out, but you
get the point, right?
On that note, I will say that sort of detailed,
well-worded writing isn’t for everyone. It obviously isn’t my style. I shoot
straight to the point and I believe that is reason #34 why writing an actual
book is complicated.
When reading Stephen King’s “On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft,” he said if you want
to write, “he had to take a shit,” then don’t write, “he had to defecate.” King
said you’d spend the rest of your time writing trying to maintain that same
language. Whoever your audience is will appreciate whatever you have to say.
So, I’ve tried to stick to that and backspace less when writing.
Back on track…
“The Year of Magical Thinking” is about the most
personal journey of Didion’s life: life after the sudden death of her husband and
watching as her only child nearly dies from a fatal illness.
My life isn't particularly interesting; at least
not what I share in the public’s eye. I've had many adventures. I have many a
crazy story the world would find interesting stretched out in a few books. Yet,
many a crazy story my family might find shameful or embarrassing.
To put into words your own personal experiences,
and then publish for the world to see, is quite a step for a writer.
Some things parents should never know. Some
things no one should ever know. So you see, I have to find the other story worthy
things I find in life to transcribe into words. My journal will be the only thing
to know it all from start to finish.
I began a blog the other day I couldn't quite
finish. That was the first 20 or so sentences you read. Until I read Didion’s paragraph today, I never realized why I struggled
so much as a writer with finishing any piece.
I am a writer. Many people enjoy what I write
because they enjoy the adventures and admire my journey. Others read because
they're close to me so they feel obligated. Some read because they too are
writers and maybe like to compare and contrast our styles. The rest probably
don't get past the first paragraph of anything I write because to be honest, I
hate grammar and my writing can be pretty sloppy.
Whatever the choice, it doesn’t affect me. I
write because I enjoy it, and because, in my mind, I am decent at it. I write
to express. And most importantly I write to escape. Writing is the one thing I
can always find confidence in doing.
Since I can remember I've had the wildest
imagination. I have always been a daydreamer. My thoughts drift, linger and
wander to where most people's minds haven’t ventured since age five. I, on
the other hand, have always held tightly to the simplest part of my mind. My
friends are well aware of this nuisance of a quality I possess, and they either
accept it or ignore it. At my age, I don’t believe it’s a quality that is ever
going to dissipate.
The point of this whole blog, which I don’t
believe I’ve made clear, is to state that imagination is ok. It's my strongest quality
as a writer. As it is for most writers. Sure it may get me in trouble, and my
peers may despise my lack of attention sometimes, but it’s who I am.
When I can walk down the street, with a group or
alone, any little thing can trigger my imagination to form a genuine story or
idea to write about later. Sometimes it’s a couple walking and I can plot out
their entire relationship in my head, or I see a poor man begging and make up a
quick tragedy of how he got there. What I see can be something as simple as
trash lingering in some nearby bushes or two humans having a public
confrontation. Honestly, depending on the day and mood, you can write about
anything.
Again, my biggest goal in life is to have a book
published: fiction, non-fiction, biography or even a picture book. As long as
it is a book, available for purchase in a store and has my name on it I don't
care what it is or how it happens, just so long as it does. Any of the above
would be satisfying.
Ironically enough, as a daydreamer, I have the
worst time writing fiction. I can drift into thought for an entire month,
construct a perfect plot, but come time to transcribe I wouldn't get more than
a paragraph on paper (by paper I mean Microsoft Word.)
I started a novel three months ago... I wrote a
chapter and I haven't looked at it since. Therefore, I currently have a five-page novel. :)
My imagination runs rampant from the smallest of
life moments. However, I could never put it into words.
I read quotes, advice and books from famous, and
not so famous, writers who give their best tips for successful writing. Here
are the ones I personally have found most useful lately.
1. The
most obvious is simply to write. And it’s true. All writing is good writing
when working toward a goal.
2. The
second is to stay creative. Find things that spark your creativity.
Organize, listen to music, play with children,
turn off the TV, and stay curious…
3. Read.
4. Write
drunk. Edit sober.
5. Let
go of fear. Bleed it all out.
These are the most helpful, and most common words
of advice given to writers, but that is because they are the most helpful.
There is nothing more to writing than to do. So use whatever characteristic you
posses which may or may not be as admirable to others at times. The truth is
the best form of writing.
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